Why Do You Keep Fighting in a Relationship? Causes, Insights & Solutions

There is a popular credence that love conquers all. But that is not entirely true. Intimacy, respect, love, communication and a lot more are required to nurture a relationship. It necessitates effort, patience and time. Disagreements and arguments are pretty common in a relationship. However, if the fights increase over time in a relationship, it is important to contemplate why you get into a lot of fights with your partner. 

Communication Issues

Miscommunication or lack of communication causes animosity to an extent where you even think twice about sharing your thoughts and feelings. It is the limitation of humans that they cannot read everything their partner believes they are thinking and proper communication is the only way to solve it. If you feel you are not heard, there is a slim possibility of you unable to express your feelings/thoughts clearly. You still expect your partner to understand your nonverbal actions.  Similarly, if your partner doesn’t feel heard, attentively listen to them and understand their needs. A number of fights in a relationship can be avoided if couples pay enough attention to each other while listening to their needs and speaking their heart out with lucidity. When that need remains unfulfilled, agitation and sense of neglect seems to creep in. 

Expectations are not met

If there is a whole lot that either one of you expects from the other, fights are bound to happen. Most people struggle badly in managing their expectations and look for a way out of the relationship in order to put an end to the frequent quarrels. Another reason why most couples get into dispute is when they realise that their attitudes towards each other has drastically changed from what it was at the start of the relationship. 

Everyone has a different form of expressing love. It is crucial to understand your partner’s love language to handle expectations. Learn to accept them as they are, even their flaws. 

Not willing to move on from past mistakes

Some people have a habit of complaining way too much and keeping a track of their partners’ past mistakes becomes their hobby. This agitates partners and causes unnecessary and uncalled fights. If you are stubborn and are not willing to keep the mistakes of the past behind, it is going to lead to many arguments in the future. If the mistakes are not worth forgetting, rethink the relationship instead of toxicating it even more. For a few issues, what couples need is to talk and try to solve it amongst themselves and move on.  

You no longer love your partner

Yes, that might be a possibility. Some people stop loving their partners while being committed and as an outcome feel weighed down and strangled in a relationship. There is a lot of blame game and couples start begrudging each other. Quarrels lead to more quarrels 

People start despising the idea of being with their partner to avoid fights. 

Rude Words

Would you rather win an argument or lose your relationship? If everyday conversations are full of passive aggression, commanding around, spiteful and manipulative behaviour behaviour, bickering, talking about your partner’s failures, using derogatory remarks or using a disrespectful tone, etc , it leads to fights. In most of the cases, it is bad words that trigger disagreements. 

Lack of Space     

It is very important to have two independent lives and private space for both to have a healthy relationship. Spending too much time with each other during the early stage of the relationship also causes too much friction. Notice, if you are too dependent on each other, you both are losing your individuality. And, if that happens, fights are bound to happen. Also, if one person in the relationship makes a whole lot of sacrifices and compromises for their partner, again a chance of lots of fights. 

See Also: Why Love Needs Space: The Secret to Healthy Relationships

Mental Health Issues

Mental health issues are very common in today’s time. Various people battling the demons inside their head often struggle to manage their relationships. They hardly find any solace in the company of their partners. Their erratic and irrational behaviour at times scare off their partners. In such a case, seek assistance from professionals. They can help you maintain clarity in your otherwise stained relationship. 

Social Discovery apps like Realfrnd can also prove to be a massive relief in such troubling times.